Cerita di hari akhir aku bersamanya...

Semenjak aku melahirkannya, tidak pernah sedetik pun aku teralpa selain mengenangkannya
aku dan suami pasti akan di sampingnya setiap hari iaitu kebiasaanya petang.
Namun pada hari terakhirnya, aku dan suami di sampingnya dengan perasaan hiba dan sebak.
Mana tidaknya, wajahnya ditatap berserta harapan yang menggunung
walaupun aku tahu itu kuasa Tuhan.
Surah & zikir tidak pernah lekang
semua yang terbaik didoakan untuknya.

Aku menyaksikan bacaan jantungnya yang semakin rendah
berserta reaksi peparunya yang naik turun tanda dia masih bernafas
maka aku & suami terus berzikir & memanggil2 namanya,
"Abir, Abir... Mommy & Daddy datang ni. Mommy/Daddy saaayang Abir sangat. Abir sehat2 ya sayang..."
sekejap2, aku memegang tangannya lalu dia menggenggam tanganku. Aku terus merasai seluruh tubuhnya kerana aku tahu aku Akan mrindukannya.
Dengan semua yang aku & suami lakukan itu, dia semakin kuat, degupan jantungnya kembali normal. Maka aku tahu, Abir ku itu sememangnya bersemangat kuat & menyayangi ibu & bapanya...

Namun apakan daya, jika Allah sudah mengkehendakinya, takkan pula aku hendak melawan...
Aku memaksa diriku untuk membiarkan dia pergi
walaupun aku bagaikan mati tidak tahan perasaanku di saat itu.
Aku mendakapnya dekat di jantungku, seakan tidak mahu lepas walapun sesaat...
Dia nazak di pangkuanku, lalu aku merelakan dia pergi.
Innalillah...

Kini, susuku untuknya hanya dibuang...
Sengaja diberhentikan kerana tiadanya dia untuk dibikmati...
Jika tidak, itulah saat manis bersamanya...
Tapi aku mesti redha dengan ketentuan Allah
sememangnya aku sedih, tapi kenyataannya dia di Jannah...
Mommy & Daddy rindu Abir, sayang...

Tangisan nyata

Bila nurani sudah tidak boleh berbisik
masakan mulut ingin berkata petes
lagikan mata ingin berligat habis
fikiran runsing berharapan tipis

Sedih ini mengguris jiwa
tak tertahan lagi mata berkaca
berjurai turun akhirnya jua
banjiri semua apa yang ada

Air mataku tidak akan berhenti
mengenangkan ia di saat nadi yang terhenti
hanya Dia yang memahami
sayangnya ibu terhadap anak yang mati

Ya Allah yang maha Esa
aku syukur atasMu yang berkuasa
cuma aku mohon biar hatiku sasa
mengharungi dugaan beralir masa

sleepy craze

there is nothing i can do to stop being sleepy, when i say i am sleepy, yes i am, my eyes could not be on their own anymore, they need 1 thing...and that thing is...."pillow". P for PHH whatta sleepy... I for I am trying hard to open my eyes, L for LOST of focus already... L for LOL help me please... O for OH my God, wake me up... W for WOW the forum i am attending now is going to be dismissed...huh::

Ijab & Qabul

Alhamdulillah,
The perfect praise belongs to Him,
That brings us to the deal of a complete life,
The fundamental pillar of Islamic Law & Contract,
Specifically the Intention & Consent,
Ijab & Qabul.

My dear husband,
It is such a startling story to tell the world,
How we got into a beautiful reactor of our love equation,
That definitely cannot be found in any other chemistry,
As of each creature has its only one of its kind.

I remember the time we met on the beautiful bridge,
The tranquility of the dark territory,
Above the black lake of no sun,
That was the first time we met…
Then, the baroque moment in time,
On the trip of empathy towards our friend,
Far and there we know each other,
Until now, we are still exploring more,
In our deep and sincere loves that locked us in a comfort life.

My love,
Whatever it is,
There are lots more to tell you,
But let us store our old & fresh memories,
Be it our good flash of lessons,
Thus to learn and keep learning,
To grab the almost perfect way of life,
As what is there in our contract of offer & acceptance.

I love you my dear,
And more love & love & love after the Ijab & Qabul…
May God bless us…

Who's that LADY?

A ‘yuck-looking’ mama of two kids
A ‘desperate’ wife of a ‘maybe-innocent’ husband
A ‘bad-conduct’ staff of a ‘bad-culture’ organization
A ‘guilty’ lady of a never forgive sin
Huh~ sounds hers exactly!

Who’s that lady?
It’s her, the never seal big mouth with never good words
With never good heart and never good soul
Good for her to be in a damn shit cistern
Huh~ sounds for her exactly!

Shoos~ you smell bad as bad as your face
Go away from my life
I don’t want to be like you
Huh~ sounds a way out from her!

who's that girl?

a GIRL is always HOT for men,


but NOT all girls behave HUMANE...


who's that girl?





she is the one BITCHING with man,


a man of somebody's beloved,


yet acting naive and innocent...


what a pitty girl, desperate finding illegal love...


lalala~





hey bitchy girl,


don't let me challenge you just because of something stupid,


a stupid behaviour by a STUPID girl


that just give stupid outcomes


supported by stupid PEOPLE...


lalala~





sometimes stupid girl,


you have to look at yourself,


your stupid mind and your not-pretty face,


it's just imaging your BLACK heart and soul...


lalala~





hey DESPERATE girl,


the almighty God is always there...


knowing, watching, listening, and everything...


at your do, did, and done...


i'll NOT even FORGIVE you till the end of my life,


but i just let it go to the God...


thank you for God's blessing.

Summarising you...eheh...

Your nothing is my something
Your something is my magic
Your magic is my satisfaction
Your satisfaction is my enthusiasm
And that is you
The personality I’m engaging to.